Emotional Eating: You’re Not Broken.

Your Brain is Just Brilliantly Misreading the Moment

“How do I stop emotional eating?”

I am sure we are all familiar; the snack that turns into a meal.The “comfort food” that becomes a ritual.The moment where your fridge becomes your therapist.

Now, before we collectively reach for the almond croissants or shame ourselves for finishing a bag of chips meant for a party of eight, let’s pause.

Because emotional eating isn’t a flaw. It’s not a failure of willpower. It’s actually a brilliant, biologically-wired survival response. Your body’s not betraying you—it’s trying to protect you.

Let me explain.

Emotional eating isn’t a moral failure or a lack of willpower. It's a perfectly timed, biologically intelligent response……to a perception.

Let's Decode it

In thousands of seminars, Dr. John Demartini has asked audiences the same question:

“How many of you overeat or undereat when you’re stressed?”

Half the hands shoot up for overeating, the other half for undereating.

Why the split? Because your body is running ancient software in a modern world; a modern expression of ancient instincts.

There are two types of stress that drive our nervous system and they map beautifully onto the body’s survival instincts:

1. Perceived loss of something you seek (like love, money, security, approval, stability)→ This triggers ghrelin, the hunger hormone. You eat to prepare for potential starvation or famine.

2. Perceived gain of something you’re trying to avoid (like conflict, rejection, shame, failure)→ This triggers leptin, which suppresses appetite and shuts down hunger. You’re in fight or flight, preparing to flee a threat, not snack mid-sprint.

The Prey and Predator in Your Mind

In nature, you either chase prey or flee from predators.

In the modern world, your boss’s tone, your bank balance, or a family group chat can act like either.

Perceived loss of prey (something you want):Your body says, "Danger, we’re about to lose a vital resource!" → Ghrelin goes up → You want food. Often lots of it.

Perceived gain of predator (something you don’t want):Your body says, "Abort mission, run for your life!" → Leptin increases → You lose appetite.

It’s not just poetic. It’s hormonal. Ghrelin and leptin are real, measurable responses triggered by perception.

And perception is everything.

So, yes, if you're crying into a cheeseburger or skipping meals like you're on an emotional juice cleanse, there's a reason.

It’s not just “stress.” It’s perceived imbalances in your life—things you fear losing or gaining.

When you overeat, it’s not because you’re “weak” or “have no control.”It’s because your body thinks you’re about to lose something essential, your metaphorical prey, so it responds like it always has: with hunger.

“Comfort Food” Isn’t Comfort—It’s a Prey-Protection Plan

Why Trying to “Control” Your Eating Misses the Point

How many “I’m just going to have one square of dark chocolate” plans have ended with you licking foil like it owes you money?

The real issue isn’t the food. It’s the emotion beneath the eating.

Every time you’re reaching for the fridge or avoiding it altogether, your subconscious is doing the math:

• “What am I afraid I’m losing right now?”

• “What do I think is coming toward me that I don’t want?”

• “What am I not seeing clearly?”

  
  

As long as your perception is lopsided—fearing the loss of what you like, or the gain of what you don’t—your body will respond accordingly.Ever reach for chocolate or chips and mutter “I just need something comforting”?

Let’s reframe that: what you’re really saying is:“I’m trying to soothe the fear of losing something important.”

That something might be:

• A relationship that feels shaky

• Control over a chaotic situation

• Time, energy, identity, or purpose

We don’t usually say it outright. We just feel an internal wobble and look for grounding. And food is one of the most accessible, socially sanctioned ways to create a false sense of stability.

It’s not the lasagna—it’s the momentary relief from the subconscious fear of loss.

And Then There’s the Dopamine Dance

Let’s not forget the sugar hits, the carb comas, the “I deserve this” justifications.

Sometimes we’re not eating out of fear, we’re eating out of fatigue.

Out of boredom.

Out of that dopamine dip after a long, unfulfilling day.

Refined sugar and high-fat foods give your brain a quick chemical reward, a dopamine spike. And when life feels flat, grey, or overwhelming, that spike becomes incredibly appealing. So appealing, we keep going back for more.

The Shame Spiral Is Worse Than the Snack

Let’s name the thoughts that sneak in afterward:

• “Why did I eat so much?”

• “I didn’t even taste that.”

• “I was doing so well this week…”

• “Why do I always sabotage myself?”

• “This is why I can’t trust myself.”

Sound familiar?

Judging yourself after emotional eating only reinforces the same perception loop that triggered it in the first place.

If you perceive yourself as “bad” or “out of control,” guess what happens?

More perceived imbalance. More hormones. More snacks.

The Way Out Isn’t Willpower. It’s Perception Mastery.

The Solution? Not Control, but Clarity

You can count macros, lock the fridge, go keto, paleo, plant-based, gluten-free, or just water and air, but unless you balance your perceptions, you’re playing whack-a-mole with your biology.

The answer isn’t stricter diets, more rules, or deleting Uber Eats.

The answer is balance.

If you can identify the exact thing you’re fearing, whether it’s rejection, failure, or that the kids will forget your birthday, and reveal the upsides of it, you break the prey-predator cycle. You neutralise it.

Ask instead:

• “What exactly am I afraid I’m losing right now?”

• “What do I perceive is coming toward me that I’m resisting?”

• “Where am I blind to the other side of this situation?”

When you dissolve the perceived imbalance, when you see the upsides of the ‘loss’ and the benefits of the ‘threat’, your body stops treating life like a jungle and starts recalibrating to reality.

Suddenly, there’s no urgent loss to avoid or threat to outrun. As a result, your ghrelin and leptin come back into homeostasis.

When you balance your perceptions, your brain chemistry follows.

And that’s when your cravings stabilise, naturally.Because they were never random. They were reactive.

The Deeper Truth

You’re not undisciplined. You’re just overstimulated by an unbalanced perception. Your eating habits are messengers. They’re not there to torment you, they’re there to guide you.

And like any good messenger, once you get the message, the chaos stops.

The very thing that sent you spiralling into the tub of ice cream? That’s the entry point to freedom - if you know how to work with it.

This is the heart of the work I do, using perception and self-inquiry to dissolve emotional reactivity at its root, helping individuals dissolve the emotional charges behind their behaviours, This can be in eating, relationships, money, or purpose.

We work to reclaim authorship over individual responses, realigning with what’s true and powerful within them.

Because it’s all connected.

If this spoke to you (or you want to quietly send it to your friend who “just really likes snacks”), then:

• Join the mailing list for more insights like this; real, practical, and based in universal principles

• And if you're sitting with an emotional tangle right now, food-related or not, and would love support in dissolving the charge and finding your centre again, reach out. I’d be honoured to work with you.

  
  

There’s nothing wrong with you. Your body’s doing exactly what it was designed to do, respond to perception.Change the perception, and the biology follows.