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Anxiety: the exhausted narrative that needs a new script.

 Do you ever feel as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs? Read on.


Anxiety is a form of fear where we assume that we are about to experience more pain than pleasure, more losses than gains, more negatives than positives, more disadvantages than advantages, and more challenge than support.

Anxiety is a result of an original event that you thought was only one sided – an event to which you assumed downsides and to which you never acknowledged an equal amount of upsides or blessings. 

Anxiety arises because of this stored past imbalanced perception - a previously perceived event considered only painful or frightening. This stored perception may also become compounded and diversified by associations to the original stimuli, creating an anxious reaction kindled by various associated stimuli.

Any painful perception of the past can initiate a fear of it or something associated with it reoccurring in the future. This fear is anxiety.

Such imbalances in events don’t truly exist except in our minds. In actuality, all events have two sides and are ultimately balanced and serve. As such, our anxiety acts as a feedback reminder that we have not balanced out our original perception.

The compounded anxiety towards the future can therefore be dissolved by balancing or neutralizing this initial emotionally challenging perception from the past.

As mentioned, any highly charged emotional experience that hasn’t been neutralised can create associations that can bring back subtle unconscious emotional feelings and result in an anxiety panic disorder. Unless we address the primary initial emotional perceptions and neutralise them, anxiety and panic attacks can be a way of life.

If we find the common denominator and thread to all the things that trigger our anxiety, we can trace our associations back to their original sources.

These sources, or ‘origin stories’, can then be neutralised with quality questions that dissolve and neutralise the initial charge and liberate you from a lifetime of unconsciously triggered phobias and anxieties.

These questions allow you to become conscious of the unconscious so you can objectively balance the experiences of the past that are stored in your subconscious mind. In that way, you can clear that baggage which is creating the anxieties.

When you can finally face and embrace both sides, seeing both the advantages as well as the disadvantages, your perception of the event will no longer contain emotions of stress or anxiety. The secondary associations will also tend to calm down and dissolve.

Anxiety is a fear. Like many people, you may perceive fear to be a negative human emotion. If so, you may be surprised to hear that fear can be your greatest guide to empowerment and authenticity.

If you pay attention to the feedback your fears provide, you can become more centred, balanced and objective, and have greater mastery in all areas of your life.

Fear is an assumption that you're likely to have what you perceive will be a negative experience.

Fear, also referred to as a phobia or nightmare, has philia or fantasy as its exact opposite. These nightmares and fantasies are entangled – you won’t have a nightmare of being laughed at and rejected if you don’t have a fantasy of being taken seriously and accepted.

There are only two sources of fear for human beings:


1.    The fear of loss of that which you seek,

2.    The fear of gain of that which you are attempting to avoid


Think of animals in the wild – their only fear is the fear the loss of prey (food - life) and the gain of predators (being eaten - death).

Anything in your life that you think is supportive of what you value most is perceived as prey - and you're likely to fear the loss of it. 

Anything that challenges what you value most in life is perceived as a predator - and you’re likely to fear the gain of it.


There is no such thing as a phobia without a philia. They are inseparably entangled like two poles of a magnet or two quantum-entangled particles.

The fears you encounter in life, such as the fear of not being smart enough, failing in business, losing money, the loss of loved ones or the respect of loved ones, rejection by friends, health issues, death, or breaking the morals of spiritual authorities, can have a significant impact on your life, creating anxiety responses, if you don’t know how to process them. These fears are incomplete awareness and lopsided perceptions of a neutral event, with the hidden upsides being stored (and ignored) in our subconscious.


When we ask quality question to bring the subconscious conscious, and reveal the upsides to any events previously perceived as painful or frightening, and event of which you are fearful of happening again, we become objective with a balanced state of mind.

As you neutralize your emotions and go into this more balanced and reasonable state, you are likely to get to a point where you don't have a fear of loss or fear of gain.

Your fears are a valuable feedback system to bring your perceptions and intentions back into fully conscious and objective balance. Your fears let you know that you have a polarized perspective and seeking a one-sided philia, or fantasy. If you neutralize your fears, and embrace both sides simultaneously you will become even more of your most authentic and balanced self.

It is by trying to avoid the unavoidable and seek the unattainable that leads to human suffering. This concept aligns with what the Buddha sought to convey – the unattainable being a one-sided existence, and the unavoidable is ‘the other side’ of that which we are seeking.

We cannot divide the indivisible. An event is neutral until we judge it, splitting it into the conscious ‘good’ or ‘bad’ part (depending if it supports or challenges our values), with the information from the other ‘ignored’ side being stored in our subconscious. We believe the conscious story, the incomplete awareness, but our subconscious has the information needed to bring the event back to neutrality and bring us back into the fully mindful state. In the fully mindful state we are more objective, adaptable, resilient, poised and present. We have all the data in our minds -we just need to answer quality questions to bring the subconscious conscious and reintegrate those parts.

Whenever you have a polarized view of more challenge than support, or more support than challenge, you create a bi-polarity that disempowers you. Anything you infatuate or resent, your nightmares, phobias and fears occupy space and time in your mind, create brain fog and distraction, and ultimately run you.


Instead of seeking out a one-sided life – positive never negative, kind never cruel, praise never criticism, acceptance never rejection, fantasies never phobias – it is wiser to live congruently with your highest values which means those priorities that are truly most important to you. In doing so you will awaken the executive function in the brain where you are more objective and focused, prioritizing your life according to what’s most meaningful to you.


By living congruently with your highest values you are more likely to be balanced and stable instead of living with the oscillating two sides of your fantasies and phobias, and living a life where you are inspired and vitalized instead of anxious and fearful.

Additionally, you are more likely to set goals that are true objectives, awaken your leadership, mitigate risk, be proactive instead of reactive. You will also have greater self-worth, less distraction, your achievements go up, you are more empowered, have greater self-governance, you awaken your leader with your space and time horizons expanding.

You only have control of your perceptions, decisions, and actions. If you balance out your perceptions, fear and anxiety disappear.

This is where you are master of your destiny and not a victim to your history.

If you would like to dissolve anxiety, fears, blocks and panic, reclaim your brain space, clarify your vision, maximise your potential and master your destiny, book a complimentary 20 minute chat with me to find out how I can assist.

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